Holes in the Floor Of Heaven
by PCGirl
Summary: John has to find a way of raising his and Natalie's child on his own. Kleenex warning! One Shot


Disclaimer: All characters are property of ABC/Disney--no harm, no foul in using them, I hope.

A/N: Another song fic. Song is by Steve Wariner. Oh, this is a major kleenex warning so get some ready before you read this one (go on...I'll wait) Ok, ya'll enjoy! Ya'll are the best! Until next time--PCGirl.

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"I hate the rain," said a twelve year old John as he stared out the window of his childhood home. It was his birthday and so far it was the worst one. It was the first one without his dad.

He walked into the kitchen as he watched his mom ice his cake, "You think it'll stop raining later?"

"I don't know—maybe," she said as she turned to look at him and saw the sadness in his eyes—she knew why, and her sadness mirrored his so much she truly didn't know what to say or do to make it better. "Do you want to call over Petey or Jake? They can share some of your cake—then later when the rain stops you can go play a game of baseball."

"No," he said softly as he plopped himself down in the chair.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to celebrate it—I don't want to celebrate it ever again—not without dad."

"John," she said softly as she put down the icing knife and knelt down in front of him. "You need to celebrate—even when someone is gone you should still celebrate life, ok?" he finished as he gave a shrug before walking off to his room.

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"She's so beautiful," spoke Natalie as she watched her newborn daughter, Lauren, sleep in her arms.

"Just like her mother," said John as he touched a bit of the red curls that were coming out of her cap.

"Take her out to the waiting room and show her to our family—they need to meet her," said Natalie as she yawned.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he took her from Natalie's arms and cradled her.

"Yeah," she nodded as she watched John walk to the door and open it. "John?" she spoke softly, getting more tired by the second.

"Hmm?" he asked as he turned and looked into her blue eyes.

"I love you both," she smiled as she closed her eyes to sleep.

"We love you too," he said as he went out to see the crowd that had been waiting for Lauren's arrival.

He heard the code called overhead, but didn't pay any attention to it—or that Michael ran off to help with it—just watched as grandmother and aunt and uncle each took a turn holding her and commenting on how beautiful she was. He'd just taken Lauren back into his arms as he turned to see Michael walking back down to the group, "John."

He could look into his brother's eyes and he knew what he was going to say, "No, Michael."

"John," he repeated again with a shaky voice. "I'm sorry."

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John walked into the house—their house—holding a sleeping Lauren. Vicki had tried to keep Lauren with her for the night—saying after a day like today he didn't need the extra burden of trying to take care of a newborn.

She wasn't a burden though—she was the best of him and Natalie put together. What was he going to do without her? John looked down at the sleeping angel and could feel his eyes fill with tears, "Natalie—I miss you already."

He went upstairs and put Lauren in the bassinette that was beside the bed, noticing it was beginning to rain. It hadn't been raining at the gravesite before, he thought with a gulp as he realized she really was gone and he was going to have to be strong—stronger than ever before to be able to raise their daughter alone.

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It was over—she wasn't his anymore, he thought as he watched Lauren dance with her husband. He raised her good—the best he could alone. For awhile they'd tried and talked him into dating again, but about the time Lauren was five they realized there was only room for one female in his life and she was it.

He watched his daughter, now twenty five, walk over and hold out her hand to him to dance, "Come on Dad—dance with me," she laughed, a laugh that mirrored her mother's—a laugh she never got to hear, but had always been told she mirrored in every way.

He held her tight, remembering his and Natalie's wedding day—how happy they'd been—how ready to celebrate life together, before it was taken away way too soon.

"Are you ok?" she asked, looking worried at the tears filling her stoic Dad's face.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I was just wishing your mom could be here—that's all."

"I know," she said as she looked over his shoulder and quietly spoke. "Look—it's beginning to rain."

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"John," she said softly as she tried to wake him. "John—wake up."

His eyes fluttered open and he was back in his bed, lying on his back and the most gorgeous face was looking at him, "Natalie."

"Hey," she smiled, the lines of worry going away for a moment, "You were having a bad dream."

"I—I was—it was a dream," he sighed, confirming it with himself as he brushed her hair out of her face.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked as he shook his head no and she heard a cry through the baby monitor. "Ok—I'm going to go check on Lauren—I'll be right back," she said as he watched her get out of the bed and walk down the hallway.

John closed his eyes as he listened to Natalie softly speak to their newborn baby through the monitor while the rain softly fell outside the window.


End file.
